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[menlove]

queer paul tome pt 1: everything not related to john

okay i've been saying i'd make this post forever and it's uh. long. so i decided to split it up into four parts so i can get this first bit out and let it stop haunting me and so it's not 50 miles long.

feel free to add your own if it's not here or shoot me an ask and i'll add it :)

disclaimer: i'm not definitively saying sir paul mccartney is queer. i mean i really firmly think he is but it's all just speculation. also, if he is, there's obviously a reason he's not out about it & he deserves to have his privacy respected. i just personally find the dominant narrative in the fandom & even in larger spaces that poor pining queer john was in love with tragically heterosexual paul completely unconvincing and neeeeeed to be insane for a minute here

if this pisses u off u can simply scroll on by i do not need an essay in my notes. make your own post if you disagree.

(paul doing this for whatever reason in beverly hills, 1974- also the same trip he saw john on bc sure i guess)

this doesn't include lyrics as the main argument bc i saw a post ages ago basically saying there's nothing outside of them and lowkey i took that as a challenge because there's SO much outside of his lyrics that point to him being queer.

that being SAID, this is going to be split into four posts: not john related (most important and thus first bc there's so much documented about mclennon & john being queer, but not paul by himself), john related, paul's relationships w other men (these ones aren't all like... concrete and that's why they aren't included here but w all the context that'll come before it his relationships to certain men are..... interesting), and finally lyrics last bc some of them you genuinely can't just ignore

part 2- john related part 3- other men part 4- lyrics (those will have links once i actually make them)

also, i'm sure people have made similar posts before- i haven't seen them (other than this one an anon sent while i was writing this up which is sooo interesting but does have a lot of dead links) but if you have one you want to share feel free!

time to get into it. i'm avoiding homework by doing this.

(sidenote: not including instances of him just flirting w men bc body language can be read a lot of different ways- but if y'all wanna add any i know they're a dime a dozen like w george m., mal, random reporters, robert fraser, etc)

1- "Just kidding, Linda..."

REPORTER: You're a very, very good looking man. PAUL: [sits up straighter, making a sort of campy gesture towards the crowd, turning into a point] Get that boy's name. [Drops his hand, smiling and leaning his cheek on his hand.] Just kidding, Linda. REPORTER: [unintelligible] PAUL: What? REPORTER: I said- do you have a secret, looking so nice for fifty years? PAUL: [grins, resting his chin on his hand again and batting his eyelashes] Yes, it's the drugs, you know.

(originally posted on here by @northernsongspeels who hasn't been active in a while) this one is so crazy to me. he's so obviously flirting with that man and he's apologizing to linda for flirting with that man. like it's a conversation they've had before.

2- "Yes, boys."

this video (originally posted by @ilovedig here)

PAUL: Yes, I think the main difference is that when you are that age- which I'm sure you remember, Tom- TOM: It's back there in the dim distant past, yes. PAUL: When you're that age, that's the kind of thing to do. I mean, what you're doing is you're going 'round and you're basically looking for girls or whatever turns you on and stuff. So, uh, yeah, I- TOM: Well- well could you give me the alternatives to girls? Are there others? LINDA: [scoffs] PAUL: Yes, boys. TOM: Oh! No.

3- "He's so good looking."

Paul McCartney first read the name and saw the photo (for weeks there was just one crazy photo of Elvis available in Britain) during a free period at Liverpool Institute. Again, it was a friend with the NME, and there was an advert for Heartbreak Hotel. "I thought, 'He's so good looking,'" Paul says, "he just looked perfect." Mark Lewisohn, All These Years Vol. 1 Tune In, sourced from the Anthology TV series by Lewisohn.

4- "A Nice Person Girl"

this fun little interview... (originally posted by @amoralto idk why the archive.org capture of it looks funky but the audio is still there) take it w a grain of salt bc it can also just read as a homophobic joke but like.

August 22nd, 1966 (Warwick Hotel, New York): As DJ “Cousin Brucie” Morrow conducts brief interviews with each of the Beatles, one by one, he asks Paul to settle the rumours that have been circulating in the press about the status of his relationship with Jane Asher. MORROW: Moving over here to Paul – someone just handed me a card. I guess this is… [focusing] Last year, when you were on my microphone here— PAUL: Ask me something about Rick Sklar. MORROW: Rick Sklar? That’s my boss. JOHN: Ask Paul about Rick Sklar. MORROW: Uh, Paul, last year when you were on my microphone, I think somebody – one of your staff – announced an engagement of you and Jane. PAUL: Uh… MORROW: Do you remember that? It was announced on the air. And then I remember we said something on the air and then thousands of people from the street went, “Oh.” What is it with you and Jane now? How – what is your relationship? Are you planning a marriage, planning an engagement, are you just boyfriend and girlfriend, what is it? Tell us the whole thing. JOHN: [mutters; inaudible] PAUL: Uh. We’re just queer, that’s the scene. [uproarious laughter in background] That’s the scene. Well I mean, I couldn’t say that on the air live, you know. JOHN: No, you’ll get into trouble for it. PAUL: No, the thing is, Cousin Bruce – um, we haven’t got plans to marry yet, you know. That’s the point. And that business about somebody saying we were engaged, nobody actually said it. It was just another one of those things where someone says, “Are they engaged?” and they said, “Well, whatever it is… [muttering]” “Yes, folks, they’re engaged!” And it wasn’t true. MORROW: Well, I’m sure there are a lot of girls who are very happy with this. What would you look for, in a girl? Say you did eventually want to settle down, what would you want to – what kind of girl would you like? What would you – what would you like in a gal you wanted to marry eventually, bring home to Mommy? PAUL: Uh… Female hormones. MORROW: Female. What’ll you go for, any – what, blonde, brunette, what? PAUL: Uh, you know, anything. Anything. Girls. It doesn’t matter if they’re blonde, brunette, or anything, as long as they’ve got it. MORROW: Would you want a nice person – what? A beautiful nice person girl. PAUL: Yeah, you know. A nice person girl. (transcription directly from @amoralto, bold mine)

and again this one COULD just be a lil homophobic joke but idk man his tone here is very different and the fact that he says he couldn't say that on air & john says he'll get in trouble is just. interesting. it's Interesting.

5- "A 26 year old queer never to get married."

Half an hour later it was very quiet, except for a few sobs, and then we decided that we had to see him just once more. We opened the gates and walked slowly in. Someone rang the doorbell. Waited, no one came, rang again. Rang again. Paul answered. We just stood there. God what do we say? "Yes, what do you want?" he said, as if we'd just come to borrow sugar. C. ran out. Someone asked if it was tomorrow, and he said, "Tomorrow." It went quiet again. "What's this - Heartbreak Hotel? What do you think I am a 26 year old queer never to get married? Oh, stick around kids!" We just looked at each other. Oh God, Paul, what have we done now. All we wanted to do was stand there and talk awhile. What was the point in shouting at us like that? We stood there, tears falling but there was no sound. "Apple Scruffs Come to Dinner" by Andrew Bailey, 1970 (x), bold mine

again, like the last one, this one is very... i think he was absolutely being homophobic here, but it's a very telling outburst. like he's yelling this harsh enough to make these girls cry.

6- Harry Harrison's "gorgeous tan"

moving onto this wild quote from many years from now by barry miles about george's older brother (bold mine):

"George Harrison’s elder brother Harry had been to Christmas Island and arrived back with a gorgeous tan in his army uniform and we thought, My God, he’s been made a man of. You used to see this quite regularly, people would be made a man of."

7/8- gender neutral language

let's get into some interesting gender neutral language he uses. now, would this be Particularly compelling with a modern celebrity? not really. but most people his age really don't talk gender neutrally unless it's to be vague On Purpose. like this bit from many years from now, where before this he'd been using exclusively "girl" and "she/her" pronouns talking about hookups, it suddenly shifts to very purposefully vague (bold mine):

With a lot of those people I met and related to, albeit for a short time, I've mercifully forgotten them and I don't really remember what went on, thank goodness. There may have been a few drinks involved and I was a little merry and, you know, you slip back to someone's flat... My main feeling really is one of relief. You do feel like some of it was outrageous. But I'm glad to have had a slightly outrageous period in my life, as long as it didn't hurt anybody, because I'd always felt maybe my character was too careful. I think the great thing was I never had any deep, dark secrets. That's what the papers wanted. They wanted me to be hiding a little Miss Whiplash somewhere, and for the flat to be in my name. But it was never that. It was always a one-night stand with whoever was around and wanted to party.

this next one take w a grain of salt bc the source Is cited but looking it up online only brings up tumblr blogs. the source does seem to exist but i'm being so real i don't care enough to go and buy the source but if anyone wants to and wants to fact-check it have at it. bold mine:

Favourite Drink: If I could only choose one drink it would have to be water. When I’m a bit hung over that’s all I can take. But I still like a Scotch and Coke. I can’t overdo it any more. Four’s my maximum, four and I’m anybody’s. (official program booklet for The Paul McCartney World Tour (1989-90): Lifelines. (1989))

what's also interesting about this one is it's when him and linda were married, which gives some credence to the rumors that they maybe had an open relationship (men or not). it also makes me think of the "just kidding, linda" thing lmao. she can't take her husband anywhere or he's going to be fagging it up the second he gets 4 drinks in him.

9/10/11- the "binary" (ft. a bit of john)

this infamous quote from the lyrics in his section on "hello goodbye" (bold mine) (x):

I'm attracted to the binary. I state that quite casually, but I think there’s actually a lot more to it than my just saying, ‘I’m attracted to the binary.’ Once you get down to the scientific biological level, in my core, I probably am the binary. All of us are probably more binary than we might realise.

context being that when he says "the binary" he means duality. there's a lot of interesting stuff going on in this article, though there's some more john related stuff i'll add here too bc it's super fascinating (sorry, easier to go here than the john section!):

‘Hello, Goodbye’ shows off a binary that we took great advantage of in The Beatles. With regard to John Lennon and myself, the great attraction we had for each other was that we each had a bit the other didn’t have. John could be quite cynical. I was his opposite, in that respect. [...] I think there definitely was a sort of ‘hello, goodbye’ about John and myself. But we loved it. We loved it because John could contribute his caustic wit and I could contribute something more upbeat. Not always, we each did what the other one did from time to time. But if you had to break it down – and though it is a bit crude to say so – there was a binary tension at the heart of our songwriting together.

12- big guys at the gym

onto something more lighthearted and also just ridiculous (x):

"If I'm in a gym and all the big guys have got big weights and they're doing all the big stuff, at the end I do a headstand," he said. "And they come over to me [and say], 'That's pretty impressive man.'" ["78-year-old Paul McCartney’s fitness routine includes headstands and yoga with Alec Baldwin" by Cory Stieg]

13- gay dreams

this infamous quote which i have a bit of a different take on that i'll expand on in a sec (bold mine)

My view is that these things are there whether you want them or not, in your interior. You don’t call up dreams, they happen, often the exact opposite of what you want. You can be heterosexual and be having a homosexual dream and wake up, and think, “Shit, am I gay?” I like that you don’t have control over it. But there is some control – it is you dreaming, it is your mind it’s all happening in. In a way my equation would be that my computer is fully loaded by now. Maybe in younger people there’s a little bit of loading to go, but mine’s loaded pretty much, so what I try and do is allow it to print out unbeknown to me. And I’m interested to hear what it’s got in there. (interview by Karen Wright for Luigi's Alcove, 2000) (x)

a lot of people use this to point to him being oblivious, which i do get, but i want to focus more on the line "it is you dreaming, it is your mind it's all happening in". like he seems interested and fascinated by the revelations we have in our dreams- hardly repressed or scared.

14- royston ellis' "break me in easy"

we've all been over the royston ellis poem and i don't want to just retype out everything that's already on this post so go check out @eppysboys' post on the royston ellis poem!

but tl;dr a bisexual friend of theirs in liverpool, royston ellis, wrote this poem called "Break Me In Easy":

Easy, easy, break me in easy. Sure I’m big time, cock-sure and brash, but easy, easy, break me in easy. Sure they’ve been others, I know the way…

which is about gay sex. he also told the boys that 1 in every 5 men was gay and paul worried that it might be him (this was back in 1960). he still remembered it line for line by 2006 which is just insane. all the sources for those are over on the linked post.

15- woody pecker

originally posted by @didwemeetsomewherebefore here (links to my blog bc the wayback machine was not cooperating right but as long as it stays up you can find the original here!)

PAUL & DONOVAN: How to suck a lollypopper, Sitting on a woodypecker, Dancing in the double-decker shoe, I don’t know, So, how do you do? PAUL: I don't know how you do it, Lordy, knows I try But every time I try to do it, My whole darn tongue gets ti(r)ed

this one is just so sillyyyyy and cute but it's just so full of innuendo like sucking on a lollypop and sitting on a woody pecker and your tongue getting tied (tired?) when you try to suck the uh lollypop. giggling his way through it with one of his boy best friends donovan too.

16- "i heard he was gay"

this fun little quote from body count by francie schwartz:

When the rotation of bike, gun, and other diversions left me alone with Billy, his first words were, "You went with Paul McCartney, didn’t you?" "I bet you just love it when people ask you about your father, don't you?" He was surprised, he half-frowned. "No, really, what's Paul like? I heard he was gay." "He might have gone that way, but he didn't. He really didn't dig fucking all that much, if that's any kind of an answer."

note here though that francie is a notoriously unreliable source on paul. she hates him and honestly makes some pretty homophobic digs at him & others pretty frequently. so it is interesting that she denies he's gay, but says he might have gone that way. given how short of a time they were together and how weird their relationship was, i wouldn't really expect him to be open about that with her- still, she noticed something there too.

17- homosexual handbook

paul was mentioned in the homosexual handbook by angelo d'arcangelo in 1968 under a list of famous homosexuals. it's very tongue in cheek and says this "may just be wishful thinking on (my) part"

and obviously not proof as the book takes a very playful and unserious tone. he does provide this little disclaimer though, which i think is interesting:

Some of the men on this list are self-acknowledged homosexuals. Some are not. All of them are generally thought to be gay. However, as many family men and notorious womanizers appear on these pages, we must—rather than question their forays into either or both sexes—congratulate them on their obvious virility.

because once again like... WHERE are these rumors about paul being gay? because the rest of this list, as far as i can tell (ngl i did not do a deep read there) are men who have/had gay rumors about them or were gay. this comes up more in the john post as well, but i seriously need to know just how many rumors there were about him being gay.

18- "the female hordes"

It was always obvious Brian was gay and we could talk to him about gay things, but he would never come out with, 'Hello, Paul, you’re looking nice today.' I was quite obviously un-gay, due to my hunting of the female hordes, and I think we all must have given the same impression. There had been a suggestion since that John had some homosexual thing with Brian, but I personally doubt it. All the intimate moments we shared were always about girls. (from Anthology)

i know putting one of his "un-gay" quotes here is counter intuitive but listen i have genuinely never heard a gayer thing come out of a man's mouth than "hunting of the female hordes" it sends me to fucking mars every time i read it. that's the most closeted shit i've ever read in my entire life. it sounds like what a gay man would say trying to come up with something a straight man would say. and i think paul's bi, he just desperately wants me to think he's never gotten pussy a day in his damn life with this quote.

as a side-note, "all the intimate moments we shared were always about girls". now what do you mean by that man..... like shared as in verbally told stories? or do you mean it was always about the girls when you guys were...... intimate? because those are two really different things and i need to know what the hell that's supposed to mean

19/20- this poor man just wants to flirt with and kiss men can we let him

okay tumblr has nerfed me and won't let me add any more videos from tumblr but there's a video of drunk paul almost kissing ringo jokingly. posted by @stewy here and as long as it's up you can reblog it here- thank u for the contribution to my red stringing lmfao

pringo for once thank god but. i don't even have anything to say except to point and think of a slur. drunk as hell flirting with your best friend what's better than that.

and then this whole interaction between paul & elton john where they kiss on the mouth

and i could so buy that this is a straight man and gay man just being comfortable together except well see above and see the other posts but also paul's very much adapting a softer, "campier" tone around him and calling him babe/darling in a very, again, gay way. not as in he's gay For elton john lmfao but this is how to old gay friends would greet each other do you see what i mean do you understand me......

anyway that's the end of part 1 join me next time (whenever the fuck i decide to avoid doing homework again um) this man has sucked a dick i'm so sure of this. (not really don't sue me for libel paul love ya)

[bludragongal]

Hi Meg! I've been a fan of your work since the Cheeko days on DA. I seem to recall a post a few months ago saying that you underwent a significant change in your life and your beliefs. Ever since, I've been curious -- are the changes in your beliefs and philosophy going to be reflected in the future chapters of DotL? Or are the "main beats" of DotL staying the same? Like, "Three Who Is One" or "Main character works through PTSD" and that kind of stuff?

Heyo!

Thank you so much for asking this question. I've had it open in a tab for like 9 days, not because I am struggling to come up with an answer, but because there's a lot I want to say about it!

I'll put the actual answer beneath the cut because it does reference some heavy stuff currently happening and I want to be considerate to those who are struggling and trying to take care of themselves during this time.

TLDR: Very little that has already been shown in the story is changing! It's still about mental health, working through and healing from PTSD, and found family. The deeper worldbuilding, themes, and lore are what's changing! I hope you enjoy where it goes now. :)

Basically, Christianity was/is a huge part of my self identity and I give it a lot of credit helping me survive a neglectful and lonely childhood. However, due to life changes, finally getting to therapy, learning what kind of help I really need, coming to accept that I am worthy of that help, recognizing and unlearning the harmful conditioning present within the organization, and seeing how the faith has been further twisted and used as a weapon to fuel the rise of Christo-Facism in the United States... the story's themes as they were originally conceived are both dishonest to the current state of the world, the people who are reading it, and to myself as I currently am and who I've become.

The world lore and answers to the larger mystery in the story have been rewritten to reflect these things. I hope I can still honor and show what it was about Christianity that helped me, what I am thankful for in it, while also doing right by the way it's been used (AND BEING USED) to harm others. If you are currently religious yourself and reading this, look for ways to stand between the people your faith is being weaponized against, and the weapon itself. This is not what Christ wanted. This is not what I want. Not any more.

DotL's core theme, ultimately, has been empathy and love. This theme remains unchanged.

Thank you for your question. <3

[poppyknitt]

Also, wanna add that Roots of Pacha is an in-development farming sim, too! No idea how "cozy game" it is but its cozy for me. It's based on a fictional interpretation of neolithic (i think) era groups and extremely fun. I can not recommend the game enough. Looked it up, and the only controversy i can find looks to be a publisher dispute that evidently resolved, as they're back on steam and have been for a while. (Adding a more in-depth explanation of what i like below. Going into depth about roots of pacha as it is one of my favorite games and I don't have many of those).

It's a bit different in that there's currently no combat, and while there is a bit of ease added through using the wiki, you can absolutely figure a lot if not all of it out on your own. There is animal domestication, lots of seasonal and a few year-by-year shifts, and from what i saw, polyamory! You can choose whether to do that when you get to the appropriate amount of hearts with a second/third/fourth/etc romanceable npc. Currently, there does seem to be a thing that no matter your intentions, romanceable npcs do interpret your kindness as romance by default, but I don't know how normal that is as I'm not actually that big on the genre, and I haven't looked to see if there's plans to modify that. Just know some npcs apparently take being only your friend a bit harder than others.

Also theres a sapphic couple w 3 wolves as their pet and a son. I love them forever. Another few notable things (albeit a marginal spoiler) are that several characters, romanceable and otherwise, address some very real topics. A widower who is trying to move on with his daughter who doesn't want the life he's trying to give her, a man who comes home with a family he didn't have before & the family learning to live with these new people, misunderstandings that led to xenophobic beliefs, and mental + physical disability. While no characters have confirmed diagnoses, it is interpretable that at least one is autistic (imo, as an audhd individual myself), directly shown that another is physically disabled and uses a cane/walking stick, and several other conditions can be inferred if you wish to do so. There's probably more I've missed, as I'm not even that far in! Imo this game is so inclusive, and that plus everything else makes me love it so much.

Sun Haven still doesn't have credits

The game Sun Haven is a cozy farm sim in a magical world. It released in Early Access in 2021, and exited into its full 1.0 launch in 2023. It has over 15k Steam reviews and over a hundred dollars' worth of DLC.

The game still doesn't have credits of who worked on it.

I don't understand why this is. For more than a year, folks (myself included) have politely asked on the community Discord server where the list of people who worked on the game is, and it's always ignored. At most, the team makes their comm manager say "they're coming soon."

Implementing credits is not difficult. Even most Early Access titles including a WIP credits in the game. It's a list of text. It's the bare minimum you can do. It's really disrespectful to both your devs and players to not want to share who made the game. Also a red flag.

It's become clear enough from the Discord that the game enlisted a fleet of contract workers, plus fan volunteers, plus machine-assisted work like for language translations.

I don't know if the credits are missing because the director doesn't care about the team, or is embarrassed, or is trying to hide something. I hope they reverse course soon. But I can't in good conscience recommend anyone play or support Sun Haven.

There's lots of great cozy farming games out there: go play Littlewood, Fields of Mistria, Fae Farm, Disney Dreamlight Valley, or heck...go play some more Stardew Valley.

[writingdevil]

hi!! :3 ouh for the writing request, if you dont mind, how about smitten and opportunist? i like them as a ship but you can do them platonically too if you prefer 👍👍

(I think they'd be such a good ship!The one who manipulates and lies meets the world's most unabashedly passionate and loving person in the world!I think Opportunist wouldn't be able to help but fall for Smitten's words of love, and that Smitten would find Opportunist's attempts to charm and suck up to him adorable!Anyways, enjoy!)

"How do I look?"

"Absolutely beautiful, if I do say so myself."

Opportunist smiled at the way Smitten's feathers puffed up under his praise.Smitten had been complaining about the state of his feathers, and Opportunist had so graciously offered to preen him, and Smitten had been nothing but grateful.

They were currently sitting on Smitten's bed, and Opportunist's eyes were taking in every inch of the room-not that it was very shocking or useful.

Smitten kept his room at a really weird halfway point between messy and clean.He had handwritten poems and emotional letters strewn all around his desk and windowsill, but the entire area around his bed was spotless, not a stray feather to be seen. It was as if Smitten was trying to look as put together and as perfect as he felt was needed, but his passions and intense bursts of love spilled out into his room. It looked like he was trying to impress someone, but that someone was also making Smitten express himself in the most chaotic way possible.

Opportunist didn't mind it, really.It was nice to be allowed to peer inside the private rooms of his flockmates-most of the others didn't trust him inside their bedrooms, but Opportunist thought they were being overly cautious.He wasn't going to back stab them or anything-just look at him and Smitten!He's been preening his wings for half an hour, and Smitten didn't have a hole in his back yet. He'd say that was all the evidence the others needed.

Smitten hummed lowly as Opportunist straightened a feather that was awkwardly poking out, and the sound made a low heat form in his chest.He wondered if Smitten would keep making sounds like that if he showed him how good at preening Opportunist was.

Opportunist wasn't sure why he even offered to preen Smitten, besides the fact that Smitten was incredibly kind and was never mean or distrusting to Opportunist once.It was just-nice to not have to work so hard to please others.Smitten was so easy to convince that Opportunist was genuinely sweet and innocent, so he never had to perform that much for him.In a weird way, this was the closest thing Opportunist could call a break for himself, to not use one of his many masks so much, even if he was still wearing one.

Smitten just made everything feel lighter-not as important, and Opportunist really liked that.

Opportunist smiled, leaning back to inspect his handiwork."All done!"he announced, and Smitten straightened up, glancing over his shoulder to try and look down at his wings."Really?Oh, thank you Oppy, you are a darling.You took such good care of my precious wings-what a sweetheart you are."

Those words went straight to Opportunist's head, covering his mind with a blanket of warmth he doesn't usually feel.He ducked his head and smiled softly, hoping Smitten didn't notice how his words were affecting him.It wasn't often that Opportunist got complimented, much less for something that he was doing honestly.

Smitten looked over his shoulder, and Opportunist was quick to replace his soft smile for a confident one."May I repay you for your kindness by preening your wings?"

Instinctively, Opportunist's wings tensed up and pressed up against his back.He tried to keep the panic and anxiety out of his voice as he chuckled and said,"Oh, you don't have to do that for me, Smitten."

But Smitten's voice was firm and determined as he responded with,"Yes, but you were kind enough to take some time out of your day to care for me.I'd like to return the favour."

Opportunist shook his head, going,"No need!It's what flockmates are for.Besides, my wings don't need to be preened."Opportunist spread out one wing for Smitten to see, showing the perfect condition they were in.

Opportunist would never let anybody preen his wings.It required too much trust and vulnerability on his part, to turn away from someone and show his back to them.Opportunist wasn't about to put himself in a position where all his feathers could be ripped out in a matter of moments.That's why he made sure to preen them every night by himself in the comfort and safety of his own room.

He felt Smitten slump in defeat as he looked at Opportunist's wings, and said,"They do look lovely right now.You clearly have a talent for taking care of things."

Despite how incorrect Smitten was, Opportunist still flushed at the compliment, quickly folding his wings behind his back so that Smitten didn't see how much his words affected him.

He knew that he needed to leave and compose himself, but Smitten unexpectedly sighed dramatically and leaned back against Opportunist's chest, putting all his weight against him and trapping him to the spot.

Opportunist froze, hands awkwardly hovering in the air, the feeling of Smitten pressed against him making his head spin.Had anyone ever casually leaned against him before?He knows Contrarian does it to anyone near him, but Opportunist wasn't sure if he's ever been a victim of it.

"U-Um-Smitten?Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine,"he replied calmly, lifting a hand in the air to gracefully wave Opportunist's concerns away, "I just wanted to rest with you.Is that alright?"

Was it?"I-I-I guess so."Opportunist was mentally kicking himself for stuttering like that.This was Smitten-there wasn't any way that this fanciful bird was a threat to him.He needed to calm down.

Smitten tilted his head back to meet his eyes, a soft smile on his face as he studied him for a few seconds, and Opportunist tried extremely hard to look as composed and as confident as he usually does.After a few seconds, Smitten hummed in that way he liked and said,"You are very handsome.Did you know that?"

Out went his composure.

"Excuse me?"he squeaked out, feeling his entire face heating up in a way that he knew he couldn't hide-and don't even get him started on his feathers!

He gulped, and laughed lightly, hoping to distract himself from the thumping of his heart.He looked away as he casually said,"What are you talking about?Smitten, you're the prettiest bird in this land. In fact, if you ask me, I think you're the real attraction of this flock by a long shot."He laughed again, hoping to get rid of these damn butterflies in his stomach.

Smitten just continued to silently gaze up at him for a few seconds, before Opportunist saw the moment that Smitten's eyes darkened.

He couldn't explain it-other than it looked like Smitten's face went from soft to sharp in an instant. The usual light twinkle in his eyes were replaced with a hungry and predatory glint that honestly scared Opportunist.

Smitten's voice was low and husky as he said,"You think I don't know the truth about you?"

"What?"Opportunist whispered, all confidence and bravado being ripped away at that voice, and all he could do was helplessly stare as Smitten straightened up to his full height, taller than Opportunist by a few inches.He still stared down at him over his shoulder as he said,"You think I can't feel your heart pounding against my back?"

Before Opportunist had even a chance to try and think about how to take control of this situation, Smitten suddenly twisted around and pushed Opportunist down on the bed, pinning his wrist above his head.

"Hey!Smitten,what's gotten into you?"he fearfully asked, the intensity of Smitten's gaze sending a shiver up his spine, and he couldn't bring himself to look away.

Smitten's smile was somehow still as charming as ever, as he leaned down closer to Opportunist to lowly say,"You can't hide your feelings from me.I know love when I see it, and I know exactly how people react to the things they love."

He leaned in closer, tilting his head slightly as he studied Opportunist, and said in a curious manner, "You, for example, simply love it when people give you attention.When we compliment you or touch you or even look at you for a certain amount of time, I can see the desire for more in your eyes. That's something you can never hide from me."

Opportunist had no idea who he was talking to anymore.This couldn't be Smitten, could it?No, Smitten was the one who loudly declared how he was feeling no matter how early it was.Smitten was the one who insisted on speaking and spending time with everyone almost every day.Smitten was soft and non-threatening, which was why he was always Opportunist's go to bird to speak to.

But was it actually because he liked it when Smitten touched him and complimented him?It was nice to be around Smitten, but he thought that it was because it was easy to be around him.

Smitten chuckled in amusement, moving to be inches away from Opportunist's lips."What a cute little devil you are,"he whispered, before crashing his lips against his.

Opportunist gasped at the intensity of Smitten as they kissed, his mind spinning with nothing but pleasure and a need to keep chasing it-and when Smitten invaded his mouth with his tongue, Opportunist moaned.

It was only made worse when Smitten kept sprinkling in sweet words in-between the kissing. Words such as-'So pretty', 'Gorgeous', and 'Good Oppy.'It erased any mask and performance from Opportunist's mind and left him falling apart, letting a sliver of truth come out-that Opportunist longed to feel like this, to feel wanted and adored for who he was.

They broke apart, panting while still pressing their bodies impossibly closer to each other.Smitten's eyes flicked off to the side for a split second, before he moved his hands up to intertwine them with Opportunist's, and his smile looked dashing and wicked at the same time as he said,"It looks like your wings need to be preened after all."

Opportunist gulped.

[glowettee]

💌 glowettee hotline issue #002: finding yourself after burn-out

(a few other details have been given to me, ex: elle woods dreams, however i didn't show that <3)

hi darling, hope you're having a lovely day!!

i'm so grateful you reached out with your question today, because it sounds like you're feeling so lost and burnt out rn. i totally understand how it feels to have been that motivated, gifted student who reached for the sky, and now feel like nothing is worth it. i've been there too, and i know that sometimes the pressure, burnout, and inner doubts can really weigh you down. so, hopefully some honest and detailed advice from me can help you get back on track with your schooling, reignite that spark, and start working towards your elle woods dreams. like being in a good headspace, working out consistently, and even acing those grades.

⊹₊⟡⋆finding yourself after burn-out⊹₊⟡⋆

by mindy @glowettee (glowettee hotline, submit here for personal advice: https://bit.ly/glowetteehotline)

𐙚taking a moment to acknowledge your feelings𐙚

firstly, darling, it’s important to know that it’s okay to feel this way. burnout and feeling lost isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign that you’ve been giving so much of yourself and that you might need a little break or a new approach. sometimes we set expectations that are so high that when we’re not meeting them, we feel like failures. remember, your value isn’t determined by your grades or how perfectly you stick to your plan.

• allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling without judgement. • consider writing down your thoughts in a journal; sometimes putting our feelings on paper can be really cathartic. • remind yourself that this phase is temporary and that you literally have the strength to overcome it.

2. 𐙚reassessing your goals and dreams𐙚

i know you once had a sky-high vision and a deep motivation to be someone amazing. now, it might feel like those dreams are just too far away. but sometimes, our dreams need a bit of tweaking to fit our current circumstances.

• break down your big dreams into smaller, manageable goals. instead of focusing on becoming a straight a student all at once, set smaller targets like improving one subject at a time. • create a vision board (physical or digital) with images, quotes, and ideas that inspire you. having a visual reminder of what you want can help reignite your passion. • remember that it's perfectly okay for your goals to evolve. just because you're facing challenges now doesn't mean you can't dream big; it might just mean your approach needs to change.

3. 𐙚creating a gentle routine to ease the burn𐙚

burnout often comes when our routines get overwhelming. it might be time to build a daily ritual that’s gentle, supportive, and kind to your mind and body.

• start your day with small but meaningful tasks-- like enjoying a quiet cup of tea or a few minutes of meditation. • plan out a simple schedule that includes time for homework, self-care, exercise (even a short walk counts), and hobbies. try not to overload your day. • integrate movement into your routine in a way that feels fun rather than forced. you might consider a fun dance routine, a brisk walk with your favorite playlist, or even a short yoga session. • create reminders throughout your day to take breaks. a five-minute pause can do wonders for your energy. • set a bedtime that lets you recharge. sleep is crucial for healing burnout and for any brain that’s trying to keep up with the pressure of school.

4. 𐙚finding support in unexpected places𐙚

feeling isolated and like you’re nothing can be incredibly draining, especially when you feel like you’re handling everything on your own. i truly believe that finding a little support can be the key to rediscovering your inner strength.

• reach out to someone you trust: a teacher, a counselor, a friend, or even a family member. sometimes just talking about how you feel can lift a huge weight off your shoulders. • consider joining a study group or club at school that interests you. surrounding yourself with peers who share your passion can remind you how valuable your unique perspective is. • if you ever feel like your burnout is taking a toll on your mental health, know that professional support (like a school counselor or therapist) can really help you navigate these feelings. i know many wonderful people who have benefited from this kind of support. • remember that social media can be a wonderful place for community: maybe look into supportive online communities or even tumblr groups where people share tips on academic success and self-care. (i have a tumblr community: https://www.tumblr.com/join/E5N0qIqo)

5. 𐙚rediscovering your self-worth through self-care𐙚

self-care is so much more than a trendy phrase, it’s the practice of honoring your own well-being, emotionally, mentally, and physically. here’s how you can start to rebuild that lost sense of self-worth:

• create a self-care checklist that you can refer to daily. it might include: 1. writing down three things you love about yourself. 2. spending 10 minutes in meditation or deep breathing. 3. enjoying a favorite hobby without feeling guilty about it. 4. treating yourself to something small, like a delicious snack or a relaxing bath. • sometimes, the little things make the biggest difference. consider allowing yourself guilt-free breaks where you watch a short, funny video or read something that makes you smile. • remember that exercise and physical self-care go hand in hand with mental clarity. you mentioned wanting to work out consistently, maybe set a modest goal like a 15-minute workout a few times a week, and gradually build from there. • affirmations are a powerful tool. start your day by saying out loud, "i am enough" or "i deserve to take care of myself." it might seem silly at first, but these little words can change your mindset over time. (i have a post here: confident affirmations post)

6. 𐙚re-engaging with your studies𐙚

it sounds like skipping classes has now become a coping mechanism for you, but i truly believe you can find a way back to feeling engaged and motivated in your studies. here are a few tips:

• set small, time-bound goals. if getting back to a full schedule feels overwhelming, start small. commit to attending classes or studying for 20 minutes at a time. • create a study space that feels calm and inviting. decorate it in a way that makes you happy. a few pretty trinkets, soft lighting, or even a little plant can transform the energy of the room. • try mixing up your study methods. if reading aloud feels tiring, incorporate videos, podcasts, or interactive websites to bring the material to life. sometimes changing the medium can make learning exciting again. (i have a post for study methods i use here: study techniques post) • form a study group with classmates who motivate each other. you might be pleasantly surprised to find that others also feel burnt out, and together you can create a supportive environment where no one feels alone. • keep track of small wins. maybe your grades have dropped, but celebrate every little improvement, no matter how small. acknowledging progress can build momentum for more success.

7. 𐙚embracing imperfection and healing𐙚

it's important to remember that no one is perfect. especially during times of stress and transition. your past self, the intelligent girl who reached for the sky, still lives within you. she’s just taking a pause to breathe and heal.

• forgive yourself for not feeling perfect right now. let go of the idea that you must constantly be at your best. giving yourself permission to rest is a form of strength, not weakness. • gradually, let yourself embrace imperfection by trying new things without the fear of failing. each small step, even if it’s a completed homework assignment or simply showing up to class, it all counts towards the bigger picture. • involve yourself in activities that make your heart sing. sometimes, engaging in something creative (like writing, painting, or dancing) can remind you of the beautiful person you are becoming. • remember that healing isn’t linear. there might be days when you feel like you’re back to square one, and that’s ok. every day is a new opportunity to try again.

8. 𐙚planning for a brighter future𐙚

dreaming of living your elle woods dreams isn’t just about achieving the impossible, it’s about building a life that feels good for you. consider these points as you plan for the future:

• break down your dream life into actionable steps. maybe start with a workout schedule, then gradually build academic goals, or plan little self-reward moments when you hit a milestone. • research inspirational stories of others who faced burnout and came back stronger. in reading about how others’ve reclaimed their motivation, you might find the encouragement you need • visualize your future success. each night, take a few minutes to imagine your ideal day, feeling energized, focused, and happy. this visualization can work as a beacon of hope on tougher days. • maintain a flexible plan. life can be unpredictable, so allow your goals to evolve as you grow. sometimes, the path to success isn’t a straight line but a winding trail full of learning curves.

i know how overwhelming it feels when burnout takes hold, so here are 10, in-depth ideas from my own journey that i truly believe can guide you back to feeling motivated and inspired.

micro-adventure journal i started a micro-adventure journal at a time when every day felt like a repeat of the last, and it completely changed my perspective. instead of fixating on those huge, far-off goals that seemed so intimidating, i began documenting the little adventures that brightened my day. sometimes, it was just noticing the way sunlight reflected on my window during a brief walk or savoring a new flavor at a cozy coffee shop. writing down these moments, adding little doodles or quotes that resonated with me, slowly built up a treasure trove of memories. on days when you feel like nothing is happening, i promise you this journal will remind you that life is made up of countless small wonders that add up to something truly beautiful.

no-pressure creativity hour i learned that setting aside an hour solely for creative play can be magically healing. this isn’t about perfect art or fancy projects, it’s simply a time to let your inner child roam free, to explore, experiment, and laugh without judgment. i remember one day, i spent an hour painting with watercolors, not caring if i made any sense of it all, just letting the colors mix and blend in their own way. that creative hour lifted a weight off my shoulders and reminded me that learning and living can be playful. try dedicating a regular slot to just be creative, and watch how it helps dissolve the relentless pressure of perfect performance.

sensory sanctuary in your space i truly believe in the power of a personal haven, a little corner where you can retreat and simply be. in my room, i carved out a tiny space with soft lighting, a gently scented candle, and a comfortable cushion where i can sit with my thoughts. this sensory sanctuary became my go-to spot when the demands of school or life felt too heavy. each time i sat there, i let the gentle aromas, the quiet ambience, and the tangible warmth remind me that i deserve moments of pure calm. creating your own sensory oasis, even if it’s a small part of your room, can be a daily reminder that your wellbeing matters and that you always deserve a break.

unexpected wins jar i made a little unexpected wins jar during one of my most challenging periods. every time something good happened, even if it was a smile from a friend, a completed assignment i thought was impossible, or even a moment of self-realization, i wrote it down on a small piece of paper and dropped it into the jar. on days when negativity overwhelmed me, i would pull out one of those notes and read it, it would immediately make me happy. this simple ritual transformed how i valued small victories and helped me start each day with a better sense of hope and gratitude.

learning buddy ritual no one should have to face these overwhelming feelings alone, which is why i reached out to a friend who was also struggling. we decided to become learning buddies, meeting regularly just to chat, share our frustrations, and even tackle our schoolwork together in a low-pressure setting. we celebrated each small win together, and on tougher days, just knowing that someone else understood me made a world of difference. having a sincere connection like this helped both of us see our academic challenges in a kinder, more manageable light.

future-self letters one of the most touching practices i embraced was writing letters to my future self. during a very trying phase, i sat down and poured my heart out, describing my struggles, my hopes, and my dreams without holding back. i sealed those letters with a promise to read them at a later date, maybe a few months or even a year later. when i finally opened them, i was amazed at how much i had grown and changed; those letters became a time capsule of resilience and hope. i encourage you to try this, as it can serve as a powerful reminder of your inner strength and the progress that often goes unseen day to day.

regular energy audits i began scheduling weekly "energy audits" as a way to truly understand the ebbs and flows of my own wellbeing. each sunday evening, i spent some quiet moments reflecting on the week, what drained me, what lifted me up, and what small actions made a noticeable difference. this self-reflection allowed me to adjust my routine mindfully, prioritizing the moments that truly nurtured my spirit. you can learn to schedule your tasks and breaks in a way that honors your energy. it’s like having a personal blueprint that guides you to where you feel most alive.

⊹₊⟡⋆final thoughts⊹₊⟡⋆

i truly hope these personal tips resonate with you and help you reconnect with the brilliant, motivated self that’s still inside, even on days when you feel lost. each idea here comes from a place of deep personal experience, and while every journey is unique, i believe that these practices can create gentle shifts toward rediscovering your inner light. take your time with each one, be kind to yourself through the process, and remember that every small step forward is a victory.

sending all love and all the good vibes!! feel free to reach out anytime, i'm always here to listen and help you through these twists and turns.

xoxo, mindy 🤍

[koroart]

DimiClaude gets married and by some magical means or another, they have a child with both of their DNA and whatnot.

What kind of parents would DimiClaude be like with their child/children? I'm sure Dimitri would want to raise their kid(s) the same wat/similar to how Lambert raised him. Though I'm not necessarily sure if Claude would raise their kid(s) the same way his parents raised him. Like, when Claude says one of his punishments was being dragged around by a horse.

Oh, okay baby, we asking the real questions here, huh? Love it, love you <3

Under a read more cuz I've been ruminating this for a long time--

( hits both dmcl with trans-o-nator beam )

Now! Let's address something first and foremost! Mostly concerning Dimitri if we are talking about canon being applied here -- due to his trauma, there is a high possible chance that many of Dimitri's memories of his father probably would have been warped or even suppressed after what Lambert had become to him after the events of the Tragedy, which is a vengeful ghost ( in comparison to the real Lambert, who probably wouldn't want his son to live a life with vengeance as a means to keep going ) -- so Dimitri would not be able to even recall much of what kind of father Lambert was at some point during his own experience with parenthood.

Dimitri had lost his only good example of what a parent should be ( I would argue Rodrigue be counted as well but at the end of the day, he's not Dimitri's father, but I'm sure Dimitri would also draw on him for example all the same.)

Still! With what he could remember, Dimitri knew that he would have to approach parenthood with patience, understanding, and above all; love. Like his own father had to when he had to raise Dimitri alone for those first seven years of Dimitri's life. Even with what little we see of Lambert in canon, you can tell he was a good father -- he loved Dimitri very much and had so much faith in him. He also made sure to emphasize humility in his son, which is why Dimitri himself isn't your typical spoiled prince trope. Dimitri himself is a reflection of his father's love -- he's compassionate and kind and when allowed to, loving, because he had that example from Lambert. Dimitri was loved very much, so it's no surprise he ended up so vengeful and sorrowful because that love was ripped away from him.

In Claude's case -- while he is the only lord to have both parents alive and well -- from what he's said and what we can kinda see -- he's not as close to his parents as Dimitri was to Lambert.

Claude of course, does love his parents and his parents love him, Tiana loved him enough and had faith in him to let Claude go to Fodlan and make his own path in life -- and Claude seemed to be his father's favorite child among his many siblings -- his parents to me kinda felt like that, "tough love" kind of parents, if a bit emotionally neglectful ( given how distant Claude is, trust me, from one Leo to another with an emotionally neglectful parent whom I also love deeply at the same time-- you keep that shit IN )

So I definitely feel like Claude would not want to raise his child the way his parents did but he's going to struggle the most out of the two of them because he didn't learn how to be emotionally available when needed, just like how his parents probably were to him. He keeps a lot of shit in and it takes a lot of trust for Claude to be able to be so open and honest with people -- with a child that's hard to do, because a child learns from example and if he shows them that you have to earn that affection or being disciplined like he was is how a parent should love their child -- the kid is gonna end up presenting him and then they're both just gonna be at odds with each other as the kid grows up.

Which is why Dimitri is a good counterbalance for Claude -- he helps Claude be more emotionally open with their kid and Claude, in turn, helps Dimitri not become too over-bearing and let their child be independent.

Both of them together, learn to show their child love, warmth and understanding -- giving them a childhood that both of them didn't get to have. One who had that childhood innocence ripped from him with tragedy and the other living each day in survival mode. Because above all, their child's happiness is what is important.

[shepherds-of-haven]

Hey! I have been a longtime fan of SHOH and I have recently begun writing my own fantasy story. How do you make your vast and rich cast of characters interact with each other in such a natural and consistent manner? I am really inspired by the way you fleshed out relationship dynamics for so many characters and would love to get some insight into that process.

Ah, thanks for the question, and thank you so much for your long support of ShoH, I really appreciate it! 💖

And hmm, this is a great question! I'm a bit chagrined to say that, at this point, I don't really think about it in the moment or apply a particular conscious methodology when it comes to writing the characters' interactions with each other: most of their dialogue and dynamics spring up naturally and seem to be dictated by the characters themselves, as well as my own long experience and familiarity with them. So in a way, it's sort of a "practice + patience = natural results" process! I start with their individual core personalities and then see how such characteristics might naturally react to each other: someone who's a bit more prickly and fiercely independent and assertive like Ayla might have friction with an authority figure as disciplined and military-minded as Blade, or would have more conflict with other members of her team due to her own natural wariness and past, but it also makes sense that she'd be softer around kind, non-threatening people like Shery or someone as naturally disarming and full of easy camaraderie like Trouble. Sometimes they do surprise me, though! But basically I carve out their most distinct personality traits, or what would be most apparent about them to strangers at a glance--(Chase: loose, playful, enigmatic, chaotic, mischievous, informal. Riel: rigid, highly intelligent, ruthless, orderly, neurotic, sophisticated)--and then I throw them together into different scenarios and observe how they might react to each other. Natural compatibilities or dynamics will start to form from there!

In my earliest days as a writer, one thing that I found really useful was switching up the format when writing and fleshing out the characters. Sometimes it's too much work to try and think of a Plot Reason why they're on a mission together or what other things are happening, like a whole short story about a mystery they're solving or whatever, and organically try to dig into their dynamic that way. If I really wanted to focus on exploring their relationship to each other, I would literally write either short screenplay vignettes as they came to me, devoid of any actual plot (like the two characters in a garden, eating lunch together), or interview/Q&A transcripts, LOL. This was a really good way of developing fast, off-the-cuff dialogue between the characters in a way that can deepen your understanding of their relationship. Like imagine they're just trapped in a room and some journalist or invisible speaker is plying them with questions. Sort of like how I imagine the Shepherds' Corner, where a panel of the characters are being polled for different questions!

(This is stirring up ancient memories for me, actually. In the LiveJournal days of like 2005, there would be tons of those OC number replacement questionnaires floating around, where there'd be 3-5 slots at the top; you'd assign each of your characters a number, and then the questionnaire would proceed to ask them questions, like so:

Blade

Briony

Trouble

Character #3, how much do you weigh?

Trouble: "Oh, uh... I actually have no idea. Nobody ever weighs me except the Healers during my annual exams, and I'm usually in a rush to get out of there as soon as I can, so I never asked..."

Blade: [disbelieving snort] "It's sure to be a lot. You eat for three."

Trouble: "Hey, fuck you?"

Briony: "You do eat a lot, Trouble..."

Maybe it seems a bit silly, but you can see how doing enough of these could allow certain character dynamics to emerge and become clearer: Blade and Trouble have a relationship where they take the piss out of each other, Briony is a more moderating influence but is still honest in a group setting (whereas she might be more diplomatic one-on-one LOL), and etc...)

Making character webs like this might also prove helpful!

Finally, one last thing to note is the form and medium that you're writing in. A rule that was often pushed in creative writing classes is that readers of short stories tend to be extremely economical with their time; the medium is already so pared down that readers will immediately notice fluff or filler, which is great for character and relationship-building but not so great for things like short stories, where every word and sentence has to count (or readers will wonder what's the point of including them). (<- Obviously, fanfiction adheres to different principles.) Conventional novels have much more leeway, but there are certainly still some constrictions; scenes often serve to either further the main plot, provide plot exposition or worldbuilding to a reader, progress a character's individual development, or provide momentum to some aspect of their relationship to others. So you don't often see stuff like Halek's witch's bane incident crop up in novels, unless it's something that comes back around in some way later. (Obviously this also varies with the novel and the genre.)

Part of the reason why I chose interactive fiction is because its conventions inherently allow more freedom with this kind of thing; you can eavesdrop on your companions drinking together, or play a card game with them, or have input as they argue about Caine's education or the state of current politics or what have you, because games are immersive and players are already primed to expect that kind of immersion, and so it's very easy to showcase the characters' interactions with each other. You don't have to worry about justifying the purpose of an interaction or a scene in relation to the overall story, especially because readers can often skip and ignore these interactions altogether. This isn't me trying to steer anyone towards a specific medium, btw: I'm just saying I have an inherently easier time showcasing these character dynamics and relationships because I'm making a game with them, whereas it might be harder to have an organic reason for Briony, Ayla, and Tallys to get drunk and start beating the shit out of some farmers in a tavern and then have a sleepover where they talk about their feelings in a typical novel? Hopefully that makes sense! The short of it is, it's absolutely possible to have the same kind of character beats and relationship-building in a novel, but if mine seem particularly rich and immersive, it's also because the genre I'm working in lends itself to that and provides a lot of opportunities!

Anyway, hopefully something in there was helpful! Thanks again for the question, and good luck with your own writing, that's so exciting! 🌟

[welcometoteyvat]

finally typing up my late lantern rite thoughts (very long). overall 100/10 quest I love hu tao

The amount of Xingqiu's brother mentions were insane. Surely we'll see him either as an NPC soon, right? Right? /j Honestly here he sounded pretty competent, nothing like "a simpleton" like Xingqiu's troubles voiceline suggests hmm...

The little model animations were SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. contributed a lot to the experience and made it feel so much more alive. hu tao's expressions especially, but also yun jin's expressions, and Xiangling's "come back, get over here and eat!!!!!1!1!!!" was also really fucking funny. they've been adding these small animations for a while but this event specifically had so many of them and the effort paid off <3

in a similar vein I'm impressed how smooth the animation/model actions were when Xiao put the sigil on us

hu tao lan yan and qiqi fill in the gap fic please

timaeus is kind of silly, also very funny he and ying'er still going strong 2 years later. he's literally learning liyue language for ying'er? genuinely his dedication is impressive. they should make events replayable because how will everyone who missed 3.5 windblume know why timaeus simps for someone a whole country over

we finally know what the fake chinese characters in all those liyue signs represent (kinda ig). I need to look over this part again

if hu tao&/xiangling or hu tao &/yun jin stocks on ao3 don't increase after this I will start biting. MY GIRLS T_T T_TT_T_T_T_T_T_T. bro the farewell section was so tender I enjoyed it greatly. Their relationships with each other got developed on screen.. yun jin and hu tao's banter especially was really cute and really shows us their relationship aside from the hints in their VOs

YUN JIN OPERATIC HILITUNE ON SCREEN. the fanvid of it from bilibili can finally rest, thanks for your service, canon got here 4 years later.

Yun Jin, having practiced the tao dou opera, MUST have known something correct?? or else she wouldn't have asked hu tao so many times to promise to come back, right? She trusts Hu Tao so much :'''' . if Hu Tao says she can handle it, Yun Jin knows there's no stopping her, and she will find a way, but it doesn't stop her from worrying nonetheless :''').

hu tao's death flags during part 2......

my agenda is speaking, but I wish Xingqiu and Hu Tao directly talked during the farewells section. something something chivalry and sacrifice. Hu Tao makes her peace with giving up everything to resolve the Tao Dou issue, but is Xingqiu at peace with losing a friend even tho its selfish of him to want her to stay? he has personal stakes in this please just let them talk a little

I'm really really glad they went through with the death, they showed Hu Tao's emotions, they showed her father and grandfather waving her off. I broke, she looked so tired but satisfied (thinking about her vision story, where she waited so long for her grandfather to never appear vs him visiting her for just a brief moment here)

my other favorite shot is when traveler pulls her out and she looks at them in muted surprise. she just looked so sad and fragile and in need of a hug :(((

the Themes (waves hands wildly). hu tao's father's lingering regrets were his fatal flaw, and so Hu Tao settles her affairs properly and steels herself before going to die. she leaves behind the plum blossom branch just like her grandfather left his hat.. genuinely what the hell. the parallels between her cutscene goodbye and her saying "happy lantern rite" kills me

the epilogue last year with the fontaine tourists was pretty fanservicey, and tbh the epilogue the year before was also somewhat fanservice to me, (liyue gang dinner and zhongli venti teasing) though I liked it better. However I think this epilogue was actually really good— the hanging out and the fluff felt natural, it fit with everything else and wasn't super sudden. Maybe this was because of all the setup that happened (Yun Jin and Xiangling's promises to Hu Tao, Xiao and Yelan's dynamic built up in Perilous Trails and their earlier exchange), so the payoff is good instead of forced. After the trials and danger they got put through, everyone gets a chance to relax, and I appreciate the slice of life after the main plot. also Yun Jin's opera was crazy good considering it was not a cutscene, the animation and camera angles really sold it

I thought the special guest was xiao again, like how LR 3.4 had him dragged to the harbor by Hu Tao.... xiaolan banter was also v good though.

THE ADEPTI. they're still watching over Liyue in their own way :') the affectionate bickering about hu tao's name :''''''''

I barely mentioned lan yan in this... her part was pretty minor ngl, her habit of learning everything about a person to the point of sounding a bit creepy is kind of fun though.

alright. fantastic quest absolutely no notes I got almost everything I ever wanted and I am so glad Hu Tao had such an incredible 2nd story quest. chongyun and shenhe exorcist lantern rite next year?

[gingersnaptaff]

Poll Time 4 ☺️✨️🗡

It's time for another round of:

Myrddin - OG Merlin, he's not actually associated with Arthuriana - and the Welsh myth stuff - until much later. He's one of those who was an irl lad but got incorporated into the mythos at a later date. He was a bard gifted with the power of prophecy (as all bards were thought to be in Celtic society) and was said to have gone mad after the Battle of Arfderydd in which his king and bestie Gwenddoleu died and then he fled into the woods. This gave him the epithet 'Wyllt' or Wild cuz obviously if ur living in the woods then u ain't gonna exactly be living ur best life. He's also famous for having a sister who is-

Gwendydd: her name means 'white day' and I mean that's so pretty but ur gonna know her better as Ganieda. She's best known for the dialogue poem she has with her brother that's featured in The Red Book (or Llyfr Coch) of Hergest. It's in an englyn form (a short poem) and is basically the two of them asking about prophecies and the ensuing answers. She's also featured in two poems 'Afallennau' (apple trees) and Hoianau (The Greetings.' In Afallennau Myrddin says Now Gwenddydd loves me not, and does not greet me;/I have killed her son and her daughter.' And MYRDDIN, BABES, WHAT DID U DO?! They also love each other a lot so like eehdjdjdjd Myrddin I GOTTA KNOW

Owain - OG Yvain/Ywain/Ivain. He has TOO MANY NAMES. Owain is another irl lad who got sucked into the mythos in a kind of fuckin Alice in Wonderland thing. Best known for being the main character of 'The Lady of the Fountain' he's the twin brother of Morfudd and - if u think his mam's Modron - the brother to Mabon the Hunter. Also, his dad is Urien Rheged so like name a better family pedigree? U can't. Irl Owain is The Worst but Mab Owain is Best Boi. He has a lion. He has ravens. He is besties with Gwalchmai and Peredur. I firmly believe he and Luned have a mate's holiday every year. What's that? U don't think so? U are wrong. Iesu Grist, I love him. I think having a hug from him would fix me. He also saves Luned's life and like they ARE BESTIES.

Pwyll Pen Annwfn - Pwyll Head of Annwfn to give him his proper name. He's the one who Rhiannon marries and is an idiot and like I love him but Pwyll PLS. Also has a run-in with Arawn, Lord of Annwfn that culminates in the two of them disguising themselves as each other and Pwyll slaying Arawn's enemy, Hafgan. He's also Pryderi's dad. He dies at the end of Branch 1 and is never brought up again even tho his wife and son are literally characters in Branch 3 (and if ur Pryderi Branch 4). He's a disaster area of the highest degree.

Bedwyr - Bedwyr of the Perfect Sinew (that's what Bedrydant means) he's HOT SHIT. He's Cai's husband and he's literally one of the Best and Most Handsomest Men in Arthur's retinue. He's also one-handed and the best fighter - as Pa gur says 'They fell by the hundred / before Bedwyr of the Perfect-Sinew.' - And also I think it's imperative u know he battles with fuckin WEREWOLF (Gwrgi Garwlwyd)! Bedwyd is the voice of reason for Arthur when he talks his bud down from trying to kidnap Princess Gwladys of Brycheiniog (Breacon) after he's already been kidnapped once in what I truly imagine must have been a fuckin terrible day for her. And also he and Cai legally take custody of Goreu in Culhwch ac Olwen and ride salmon taxis together. Also, Cai says 'By the hand of my friend' as a catchphrase and it's a ref to Bedwyr. They are Husbands. I legit love him. Cai also loves him. Vote for Bedwyr to please Cai or else.

[strangeispowerful]

I'm taking a break from posting on tumblr.. it's causing me too much anxiety. dm's and asks are still open- but I won't be posting art or much of anything else for a bit. :( ily nilfruiters and various goobers! hopefully will be back soon.

[breezypunk]

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[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[musical-chick-13]

I will always be thinking about how, at the end of Decision to Leave, the female lead decides to kill herself in a way that will make it harder to find her body--because this way, the male lead, despite his distrust and complicated feelings toward her, will be more likely to continue thinking about her because he won't know what happened. In some sense, she'll remain a mystery; and in doing so, she might be able to keep her place in his thoughts (and, by extension, his heart).

That's just...that's so fucking bleak, man.

[bmpmp3]

dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!

[goblin-enjoyer]

I swear why are half the things i like/fandoms im in made of mostly younger people while the other half are mostly older people? what are the zoggin odds with that?

How it feels being 20 in a fandom with a bunch of 30-40 somethings.

VS how it feels being 20 in a fandom with a bunch of 14-17 somethings.

like am do i just have extremely odd luck with things i like or is this just what being 20 is like?

[gojonanami]

hi all, thank you for all the very, very sweet comments, reblogs, and asks about prof geto :) <3

i'll be responding soon to them after lunch probably because i'm very touched by all of them and i'm trying to process since i have a hard time accepting praise (don't stop doing it, i do want it - i just get very flustered lol).

i'm already thinking about part two lol - and also about the professor gojo and nanami and hiromi fics i wanna write - this is gonna be a whole au at this point. but anyway - first 2k fics!! i'm making progress on the bodyguard! reader x rich boy! gojo fic :) hopefully will be out later next week :)